Those Brushstrokes of Joy

"Joy is a mystery because it can happen anywhere, anytime, even under the most unpromising circumstances, even in the midst of suffering, with tears in its eyes." ~Frederich Buechner

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials..." ~ James 2:1

There are times in my life (and yours, I'm sure) when joy seems hard to come by. Financial worries, chronic illness, loneliness, fear, cancer, disappointment, divorce or death of a loved one--these things choke our joy. We're caught up with the problem and forget that our God is in control with a bigger design for our lives than we can fathom. Pain knocks us off balance. But maybe part of God's design is that we learn to abide in Him so deeply that His joy rises up in our hearts and smothers the pain.

Instead, we let the drip-drip of the daily grind wear us down. Our joy leaks. Other times a crisis hits suddenly while our hearts and knees buckle from the fear. We're frozen in time, desperate for answers. We pray that God will bless and heal and provide. And He certainly does, time after time. But as the scriptures also remind me, "the rain falls on the just and the unjust." Hardship will eventually show up at everyone's door. And death, too, since we're not getting out of here alive. Ah, but to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord, if you're a believer. Meanwhile, you ask, how are we suppose to survive, much less "count it all joy"?

I dare not give a pat answer because I'm still trying to learn. *smile* The bible is filled with references to joy, though, and I do believe joy is something God imparts to us through His Holy Spirit, like a gift, yet joy is also something we fight for by setting our minds and hearts on Him no matter what thoughts assault us.

In my darkest hour I recalled Jesus, "who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:2), and wondered how He did that. In my wondering, I turned to Him. In my turning, I stumbled across Romans 15:13 which spoke softly, yet powerfully in my affliction: "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Even though my suffering paled in comparison to His, the Holy Spirit was right there alongside me, bearing my grief and pain. The realization produced joy in me, yet it was the Holy Spirit. My joy welled up, day after day, as I set my mind on Him. When Jesus is all you have, you realize that Jesus is all you need. Yes, adversity has a way of drawing us to God like nothing else. No wonder C.S. Lewis called pain "God's megaphone." I may have lived long enough to finally understand what he meant.

In recent months, my own mother died from melanoma after a long illness. A few years ago, my father had died from lung cancer, so I didn't think I could go through this again. Nothing really prepared me for the feelings I experienced during those weeks and months as I watched both my parents wither away, both bodies ravaged by cancer. But in the midst of my awkwardness, heartache, and tears, the Lord sustained me. I knew He was fulfilling His purpose for me at that time in my life, even though it wasn't pleasant. He wanted me at my parents' bedside.

Some say that we operate on adrenaline in a crisis, and as a nurse, I have to agree that's partly true. But I think the Lord gave me a real enablement to get me through two of the most difficult times of my life, otherwise, I might have crumbled. With each parent, He gave me precious time alone with them--moments undescribable. I've not written much about this yet, but feel there may be a person out there, wondering if God will be real when their difficult time draws near.

Whatever you face, I say YES. God will be real.

The God of all hope will do just as He promised. He will wipe every tear, and hold you close until there are no more tears. He will see you through. For the soul who believes in Him, He will open the window of your heart and begin to paint it with soft, breathtaking, brushstrokes of joy. A hush will fall over your heart. You may not understand it, you may not be able to describe it, but you'll definitely know "the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Blessings,
Vicki