Giving Up Control

Thursday's rain continues steadily here at the Gaines cottage. . . a soothing, cleansing sound outside my open window. After all the droughts we've experienced these past summers, I welcome every drop. And so do my petunias.

CT scan results came back fine for Mr. G - thanks for inquiring. His heart surgeon recommends a yearly trans-something-or-other-Echo to keep a good check on his aorta and valves. Not everyone lives to joke about his aneurysm, so we rejoice for the good report and sigh with relief. (I do, anyway). A few concerns still exist: kidney stones, prostate issues, sleep apnea, teeth & gums, and frequent melanoma rechecks that he's missed. I finally resigned as his personal secretary and chief nag, and thought of a better idea.

"How 'bout we put all your ailments in a hat," I said, "then you can draw the doctor's name you wish to visit next."

He laughed. I think he rather likes that idea. Yep, it just might work.

For me, it's more about releasing control and trusting God with not only my life, but my husband's life. I want to support him in making right health choices, but I can't make him follow through. I have to ultimately realize that His life is in God's hands...

...the same place my life is.

Mugs of Truth: Our Cups Runneth Over

What's more peaceful than enjoying the blessings of family and a full tummy? Mother's Day was great. Since Mr. G.'s birthday is close to Mother's Day, we combined our celebration, grilled burgers, and hung out together with the family. Our oldest son, still in Australia on business, will fly back to Atlanta later this week. Pray for traveling mercies. It's quite a l-o-n-g flight. ~

Fed Ex delivered a neat surprise to our door this weekend. Inside our package were two special mugs from Mugs of Truth - one for myself, and one for Mr. G.

Folks, I love the Scriptures! And these cups make my heart sing! When we poured our hot morning brew into each cup, we watched in amazement as a beautiful scene slowly lit up behind the cup verse. (How do they do this?) Thought you'd enjoy knowing about these unique mugs that deliver encouraging messages from God's Word. Nice way to start the day.

Our particular scriptures are:

"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. His compassions are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness." ~ Lamentations 3:22, 23

"Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows...but take heart because I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:33

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For more info, please check out: Mugs of Truth

Thankful Mother's Day

To my friends who are mothers, much joy to you this Mother's Day! To my dear friend who attended her mom's funeral today, all my love and prayers. I know you'll miss her.

Here's an acronym that someone mailed today:

M - Messenger: relaying God's Word.
O - Outpouring of genuine Love.
T - Trusts in God.
H - Heart set on things above.
E - Earthly saint.
R - Rescuer of the wayward.

This acronym doesn't exactly describe the mother I had, but thank God for godly mothers! May those of us blessed with children (and grandchildren) call on the name of the Lord to raise them, because it takes more than a village - it takes the Holy Spirit.

Motherhood is hard. I couldn't have done it alone. Without a proper role model, I needed wisdom, guidance, and h-e-l-p. I soon learned that we can't give what we don't have, and so my deepest, most critical and personal need, early in our marriage, was to have my own relationship with Christ. Having three children brought me to my knees since I was lost in more ways than one. But knowing the Lord made a difference; He enabled me to forgive my past and not pass on my pain. . . and the healing continues.

This Mother's Day I'm thankful for three wonderful children, their devoted spouses, and the two sweetest grandchildren on the planet. I'm thankful that God turned my painful childhood around for good by instilling His compassion and empathy in me for those affected by abuse or neglect, and giving me a heart for those who suffer with mental illness. I understand my mother now more than I ever did because God slipped me a new pair of glasses when He called me His own.

Life is short. Celebrate motherhood! Give thanks to the Lord because, truly, He is good.

~~~

Clipart courtesy of:Karen's Whimsy

Birthdays & Homecomings

Today is Mr. G's birthday! We're waiting to hear results of his CT scan results. Not to worry - it's just routine follow-up of his aneurysm repair and valve replacement last June. Much thankfulness wells up in our hearts as we look back on a very "medical" year. Thanking God for a special birthday indeed.

Also, this morning my dear friend's mother passed away from the breast cancer she battled for so long. She read a note to me over the phone that her mother wrote last fall, a prayer to the Lord, expressing her trust in Him for the journey even though she was a bit scared of how things would go. Such a precious note. My friend and I went to high school together and have stayed in touch. Please keep her family in your prayers this next little while. Oh, but Mrs. Jean now sees Jesus face to face!

This news stirs emotion in me right before Mother's Day. Wasn't long ago that my own mother died from melanoma. There's a tug at my heart to write about the stormy relationship we had, her mental illness, her disownment of me for 9 years, the effects of growing up without a nurturing, caring mother, and yet the forgiveness & healing I finally found in the Lord. I have no desire to dredge up memories just to rehash circumstances, but it's good to recall what the Lord has done - and all that He continues to do - in my life and heart.

Graphics by Irene

Nothing Compares to Him

Spring is in full force around here, with chirping birds and pink azaleas, lush green ferns swinging in the breeze, and pretty magenta-colored petunias garnishing the old mailbox out front. So much sunshine today! My vitamin D-deprived body needs a ray or two, but first I'll catch up with the blog.

And so I'm pondering life and all the many blessings we enjoy. Even the New Age gurus teach folks to cultivate a grateful heart and count their blessings. Ever wonder exactly to whom they give their thanks?

To list everything I'm grateful for would be therapeutic, and certainly praise-worthy, but really - nothing compares to knowing Christ as my Life.

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another" (John 1:16, NIV).

The fullness of His grace. Christ is God's gift. To be satisfied, we must know the Gift, right? Or else we'll turn to things to be filled, even good and wholesome spiritual things. But that never lasts, does it? A broken cistern won't hold water very long.

"Jesus answered her, 'If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water'" (John 4:10).

Sometimes I wonder if the focus of salvation in many churches has failed to help people realize what eternal life really means. Many are those who walk the aisle for a free ticket to heaven and a clear conscience.

How many, though, have actually received His Life?

Something to think about.

Saturday Ruminations & Praises

It's a beautiful rainy day here in Atlanta! Yes, I said beautiful. And Mr. G., in all his rain gear, is planting brightly colored petunias around our mailbox, even as I type. If that ain't love, what is? All is right in my little world, here at the Gaines cottage.

Two weeks since the thyroidectomy and I'm happy to report that my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue symptoms have mysteriously vanished. One friend said not to count my chickens so fast; another wanted to know if a malfunctioning thyroid had been the problem all along. I don't know. My thyroid labs were always normal, even with the tumor. So how could this be? I'm just smiling and thanking God for ENERGY, y'all. You have no idea how long I've struggled in my body. People want to explain away miracles with common sense or science, but I'm taking all the relief the sweet Lord wants to give me. To think how much I dreaded surgery, only to discover my aches and pain now gone!

Please pray for my eldest son, leaving for Australia today (business trip). It will be a long two weeks without him, especially for 6 year old Lexie.

To Know Jesus is to Know Truth

Even the world says "the truth will set you free," but is this really true?

Before answering, remember that Jesus said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." We need to know truth before it will do anything for us. Sadly, the world doesn't know Jesus Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

But do we know Him intimately? Are we abiding in Him through His Word? If so, we'll find ourselves freed from sin, self, and the ways of this world, being filled with His Spirit of mercy and grace.

"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ~ John 8: 31-32 (ESV)

"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"~ John 14:6

Cracked & Making It Plain

When God delivered me from the hands of psychiatry many years ago, He etched Habakkuk 2:2 on my heart for good:

"Write down the revelation and make it plain. . . "

I wasn't nuts, but I was walking on the edge. That is, before Christ became my life. Sometime I'll share my story, but for today, it's enough that you realize how much Christ longs to be life to us, whatever we're facing. Not for a single season, but always. He loves us so much, He will allow whatever it takes to help us come to the realization of Christ IN us, the hope of glory.

But most of what we've learned about God isn't right. Sometimes we need to unlearn what we thought we knew, just to read the Scriptures without presumption or bias. The older I get, the more these keys take a pounding. I long for others to see Christ, but all I can offer is my own journey of brokenness, trusting His light to shine through the cracks.

Otherwise, if we ignore so great a Savior, all that's left for us is this world's glittery mirage and a deeply hollow existence.

~~~
graphic: Snapshots of Joy

Do We Want the Physician or Just His Healing?

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you." ~ Isaiah 30:18

With surgery just ten days behind me, I'm amazed at the rapid healing I've experienced. I really expected to suffer through a mighty "fibro flare" after the ordeal, with severe aches, pains, and even losing my voice. They had my neck in quite a bind for 4 hours straight. But I only had two days of throat pain; the fibromyalgia and fatigue are gone. My symptoms vanished on Levoxyl, and as scary as it sometimes felt over the weeks to know a mass was growing into my esophagus (with at least 15% chance of malignancy), this thyroidectomy has turned out for my good. Much rejoicing over here!

So, to my one sister who insists that folks struggling with any kind of chronic ailment are cursed by God, all I can say is, it might help to read the book of Job. . .

Meanwhile, I'll miss the good surgeon. He handled the delicate, tedious surgery like the thyroid gland expert that he is, minimizing any complication. Prior to surgery and afterwards, Dr. U. was always quick to comfort and inform. But one more follow-up appointment and we're done, unless I ever need him again.

Not so with my Great Physician. He means more to me than what He can do for me. Surely He hears and answers my prayers, and I could pray for so many things (and do), but more than His healing touch, I need Him. This union with Him is not just something we pull down from the shelf in times of need. . . we absolutely need this Life of His flowing deep down in our inner man, growing and increasing as we learn to surrender, trust, and rest in Him. Never does He leave us or forsake us. And all that He is, He is for us.

I remember when the anesthesiologist placed the mask over my face, asking me to breathe in and out three times. My last thought was, "Lord, it is so peaceful here...you're good to me." No fear. No panic. Only the calm assurance that this child's Daddy was in charge, and that He was taking care of all that concerned her heart.

My surgeon's care and expertise was a blessing, but when his work is done, our patient/doctor relationship ends. But my Great Physician is also my Father, and His care for me never ends. My life in Him is good, very good, even in the tough times - especially in the tough times. Because that's when I learn just how real and full of grace He is, and how much I depend on His presence to see me through.

And this is eternal life, y'all. . . to know Him.

Abiding

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
~ Psalm 91:1-2